Perfectionism: what seems a strength can actually have devastating consequences on one’s quality of life. As a recovering perfectionist I lived many shame-filled years of not meeting the marks I set for myself in relationships, school, work, my appearance and the environment around me. I thought if I just tried harder, was a little more perfect, then I would be good enough. Then I would be happy. My perfectionism was compounded by anxiety, depression and an eating disorder.
As a clinician I have seen how perfection impacts many wonderful individuals who have so much going for them. Often perfectionism and anxiety go hand in hand. As a recovered perfectionist I enjoy giving clients hope that they do not have to continue to live under the prison walls they feel trapped in. The first step is understanding if you are a perfectionist, and if so, how does it manifest in your life? We will also learn how perfectionism is impacting your quality of life. We cannot change what we do not acknowledge.
Seeing the damage perfectionism has on those we see that are already suffering with mental illnesses, our Adult Intensive Outpatient Program now educate clients on perfectionism, helping them identify where they may struggle with it and give them hands on tools to start decreasing its grip on them.
If you have a client who struggles with perfectionism, here are some areas you can address with them to assist them on the journey of becoming a “recovered perfectionist;”
Feelings of Inadequacy
Early life trauma
Harsh Parent Criticism
Identifying Their Parents fears
Things to work on to decrease perfectionism
Understand the difference between perfectionism and excellence
Apply the 80% mess up factor to day to day activities
Identify if procrastination is a form of your client’s perfectionism
Increase ability to tolerate shame
Applying self-compassion
I can now I strive to live a life valuing excellence and can allow myself to be perfectly imperfect, even laugh at my mistakes. Thank you for working with those who suffer towards a life of freedom from perfectionism.